[Paper Review] Asymmetries of Men and Women in Selecting Partner

Haluk O. Bingol, Omer Basar|arXiv (Cornell University)|Nov 2, 2012

Sexuality, Behavior, and Technology15 references3 citations

TL;DR

This study analyzes behavioral asymmetries in partner selection on a large Turkish online dating platform with 276,210 male and 483,963 female users. Using transactional data over three months, it reveals that men prefer partners with lower qualifications (e.g., income, education), while women prefer higher-qualifying men; men initiate contact 10x more often via winks, and messaging preferences differ significantly by gender and age, with humor and visual appeal playing key roles in initial outreach.

ABSTRACT

This paper investigates human dynamics in a large online dating site with 3,000 new users daily who stay in the system for 3 months on the average. The daily activity is also quite large such as 500,000 massage transactions, 5,000 photo uploads, and 20,000 votes. The data investigated has 276, 210 male and 483, 963 female users. Based on the activity that they made, there are clear distinctions between men and women in their pattern of behavior. Men prefer lower, women prefer higher qualifications in their partner.

Motivation & Objective

• To investigate gender asymmetries in partner selection behavior on a large-scale online dating platform.
• To analyze differences in initiation patterns, messaging preferences, and partner qualification preferences between men and women.
• To understand how age and gender influence the choice of initial contact messages and perceived partner attributes.
• To examine the role of visual cues (photos) versus profile content in early-stage online interactions.

Proposed method

• Data was collected from a large Turkish online dating site with ~4.5 million registered users, focusing on 276,210 male and 483,963 female users with full access privileges.
• The study analyzed daily user activities including winks, messages, votes, favorites, photo uploads, and gift transactions over a period of time.
• Partner qualification preferences were assessed using binned data for education, income, BMI, and body type, with order-preserving mappings to preserve relative comparisons.
• Wink message usage was analyzed across age groups (18–30, 31–40, 41–50) to detect shifts in messaging strategy by gender and age.
• Statistical analysis compared gender-specific patterns in message selection, initiation frequency, and preference for partner attributes.
• The analysis controlled for user type, with only paid male users included to ensure consistent access and data completeness.

Experimental results

Research questions

• RQ1 How do men and women differ in their partner selection preferences regarding education, income, and physical attributes?
• RQ2 What role does gender play in initiating contact, and how does this vary by age group?
• RQ3 How do messaging strategies—particularly the use of predefined wink messages—differ between men and women in online dating?
• RQ4 To what extent do visual cues (e.g., photos) versus profile content influence initial contact messages?
• RQ5 How does the perceived importance of humor and friendliness evolve with age in online partner selection?

Key findings

• Men initiate contact via winks 10 times more frequently than women, indicating a dominant role in initiating online interactions.
• Men prefer female partners with lower qualifications in education and income, while women prefer male partners with higher qualifications in both categories.
• The most frequently used wink message among men is 'If you’re looking for a funny friend, I am here.', selected in nearly 50% of winks among older men (41–50 years).
• For women, the most common message is 'I loved your photo. You are cool!', used in over 40% of winks, with usage declining slightly with age.
• Women’s messaging preferences shift with age: the humor-based message becomes significantly more popular (from 23% to 37%) among women aged 41–50, while photo-focused messages remain dominant.
• The first two messages account for over 75% of all winks among women aged 41–50, compared to 63% among men, indicating greater message consistency in female outreach.